I love my family truly but sometimes. . . I just don’t know. Why should I feel guilty or why should they want to make me feel guilty for the things I’ve done, for the things I want to do. I shouldn’t have to hide the fact that I love to write. I shouldn’t be ashamed of the fact I’d rather have my nose in a book. I’m not ashamed of what I do and what I love to do I just wish I could get support behind me. The only person that doest that is my sister, she likes to write but I think I’m submerged a bit more into what I like to do then she is. Lauren has always been more outgoing. That’s a story for later though.
Today, while I was sitting bored out of my mind in Chemistry I was looking up publishing companies. I had to force myself to stop and pay attention but even then my mind was reeling. It’s an ongoing cycle. You can’t get you foot in the door without an agent, you can’t get an agent with out published work. You cant get your work published with out an agent unless you’re self publishing, but they tell you not to do it. You can do it on their website but you have to have this and this and this. Impossible.
I sat in my chair rocking away but still disgusted at the circles they had weave so tightly around us all. It might be easier to become an actor. I don’t want to be I’m just saying. think about it, you have commercials, modeling, etc, other things like that. Writing it’s either you have your foot in the door or you’re looking at it wistfully. I thought of all this before I then thought.
“people are so concern with selling novels they need to be concerned with writing them.” I feel this is true. I think about people reading my work, dream about it really. I need to focus on my words and make sure my reader has something they want to devour and reread again and again. I don’t want them to buy something with my name on it only to regret it or read empty words. Where is the point in that? Time is something you can never get back, use it wisely. There is nothing worse than a book that disappoints.