Christaholley's Blog

If You Only Knew

P.O. March 4, 2010

Filed under: friends,life,Random Box — christaholley @ 6:49 am
Tags: , , , ,

It’s been a while and I guess the only reason I started back writing is because I’m upset- no, I’m not upset I’m pissed. I’m so frustrated and pissed off and have no where to go except to the police and I don’t want to do that. I just didn’t think every thing would turn out this bad. I didn’t think he would be this horrible. I mean he broke up with me after all, he has a girl friend. I meant next to nothing to him, he told me so himself. So. . . why wouldn’t he leave me alone? Why me?

Is it because I said okay a tried to pick up the pieces and was actually there? what is it about me being happy that he can’t stand? I think I’ll write a story about it one day.


It went something like this. Me and Jason (my best friend) decided to go to the mall, this is a big thing for me, I hate shopping but he loves it. Plus he promise to buy me the book I’ve been lusting after for months. It was a win win situation. Or so I thought until I saw him, or he saw me I’m not sure who saw who first.

Jason was handing me my book after just paying for it and my ex walks in. My stomach I swear drops.

He has his girlfriend and everything, when he saw me I don’t know what happen. I didn’t even have time to run and drag Jason with me before he pounced asking twenty one plus a million questions. they started off nice, what am I doing with my life. Innocent things, then they got more intursive, do I have a boyfriend stuff like that.  Then Jason did the worst thing, he put his hand on my arm trying to drag me away and I’m walking awaywith him, trying not to run. My ex has no idea that Jason is my best friend and not more. . .

Any way, he says the one thing that started it all. We were walking away toward the exit as fast as we could when he said. “have you f***ed her yet?!” I swear in front of the people in Borders Books, yelling for everyone to hear he is yelling at the top of his lungs. “she wouldn’t let me, what the f*** are you doing different. It‘s because I‘m white isn‘t it ?!?”

Now I’m dragging Jason out the store and my ex is running to greet us and his girlfriend is just standing there with a blank look on her face like everyone else in the store. When I finally get Jason to run instead of going and trying to throw punches he is walking after us yelling at us about me! WTF!?!?

I’m nothing special, not to him anyway. I’m trying to move on with my life but he won’t let me. I’m tired and frustrated and a little scared, he was the biggest mistake of my life. One that I will never make again.

I swear I broke down two times before we made it back to school. I don’t cry, not over things like this but. . . I didn’t know what else I could do.


One Response to “P.O.”

  1. isreal Says:

    Wow…that was a great story….

    I have not been freaked like that…oh wait..I have…

    that is freaky…makes me understand truth and the idealism of life and love and lust…. Most white dude just want to own is in there DNA….

    It is all good…just remember next time you meet a white guy..think of him….Not all white guys are bad…they own the world after all…and they are not giving it up without a fight…

    ha ha ah

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