Christaholley's Blog

If You Only Knew

Acceptance March 8, 2010

Filed under: life,Random Box — christaholley @ 10:53 am

I have nothing to write about today but I decided to get into practice of it, that means no missing days. A couple of hours ago I decided that if i’m going to blog. I might as well go full out and leave nothing off limits and explore everything of my life and my small world and things that I can grasp beyond it.

Still I sit here with no topic in mind, does that make me a boring person? To routine to have anything interesting to say. Sad thing is, probably, I’m the boring twin. I’m the safe one, the one who that is very compliant and a little to much of a people pleaser, the one that also just can’t seem to keep her mouth shut. I’m the sarcastic one with the dry sense of humor. It’s who I am. Would changing myself make me any more interesting? Why do people change themselves any way. For acceptance? because they can? Why are some people so close minded to not just accept someone for who they are?

I guess my question for the night is why should a beautiful person change to fit in with the ugly standards and criteria our society sets? People are saying that acceptance has gotten better and tolerance is getting better. That might be true but I think we are not changing fast enough, not to avoid the disaster I fear one day will happen. We as a people might be changing little by little but our world is changing second by second. And yes while we might say that some time I find it hard believe when I’ve seen a girl spit on and yell at because she chooses to wear black clothes and a lot of eye liner and pale make up. She wasn’t emo or Goth, she just like the style.

I’ve seen boys taunted and teased to the point of committing suicide because they couldn’t handle it all. Isn’t it saying something when a fourteen fifteen year old child would rather die than go on living because people chose to make his life a living hell. Adolescence is trying enough without the extra pressure of hiding who you are.

People say they are changing but I find myself doubting sometimes, a lot of times. Being a biracial child I have gotten the best and the worst of both worlds. I’ve been teased, taunted, called names from both sides. One moment that sticks out was actually a couple of months ago when my ex was having a graduation party. Pool party actually with only a couple of his friends. I’m sitting there eating and his grandmother is staring at me, and I do mean staring. I wasn’t the only girl there so I knew that wasn’t it. Then she does the oddest thing, while I’m eating she gets up and runs her fingers through my hair.

“Oh,” She says “You have that kind of hair.” Not only was that a violation of personal space it was also a clear dismissal. I would have happily told her I was only half white but she didn’t give me a chance. After that she just watched me like I had deceived her and his parents forbid him from dating me. We went out anyway and I found out quickly no matter how he tried to hid it, he was a bit of a raciest himself. He might not have been conscious of it but, he was. This is just one of may instances where narrow mindedness has come into play.

I’m just waiting for the day when the barriers will come down and everyone will finally say enough is enough. We don’t care if you are this or that, we don’t care if you are gay straight or a little bit curved. As long as you keep it legal it should be alright. I guess I’m just waiting for a day when everyone can find acceptance.


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