Christaholley's Blog

If You Only Knew

A Quickie July 9, 2010

Filed under: life,Random Box,writing — christaholley @ 9:05 pm
Tags: , , ,

Being a writer, is it a known thing that I don’t know being that I’m new at this that; no matter how much you write. You still feel inadequate. It is a constant feeling knowing that I can do better, I want to do better always but I just don’t know how to reach where I want to be. 

Writing is bleeding out your soul, or at least letting it leak through. Using your feelings and a little bit of your brain to create moods of characters, settings, dialogue. It is a constant worry that I am not meeting the standard. Then I have to remember that it is a craft that has to be honed over time, practice and patience. I will get better- hopefully- I just have to work, pray, and work some more. It would be a miricale if I got to where I wanted to be in a year, I would start playing the lotto if it did happen. 

Until I get where I want to be, I will write, bleed, and live. Those are normal things, right? 

*smile* 

It is work that I enjoy, then that means it isn’t work. It is something that if I could do for the rest of my life I would be perfectly content with myself. 

signed, an aspiring writer. 

 

 

 

My Something. June 4, 2010

Filed under: life,Random Box,writing — christaholley @ 10:21 am
Tags: , , , , ,

I just posted another chapter to my story Autumn’s Beginning. And I’m about to post another chapter to Wish, I Never. After that I will be just a girl with blue toe nails who has a date with her four best friends; Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte, and Carrie. If you need me I will be at the movies to see Sex and the City 2.

 

Forever Playlist June 3, 2010

Filed under: friends,life,Random Box,things that stress,writing — christaholley @ 3:18 am
Tags: , , ,

Summer is in full swing for me. Busy, busy, busy me. I’m so tired, what happen to it’s all about relaxing on your break. Between trying to find a job, editing, and fighting off the flu. It’s been a full work load, oh, and school for me starts Monday. Summer School!!! yeay me! 

Anyway, I came across major writer’s block two days ago. Jason, my best friend, told me music would help. He even gave me a playlist. I will never tell him this, but it did. Music save me. When I was done I decided it would be fun to make aplaylist for all the characters of my book. A small playlist showing what the characters of Autumn’s forever would listen to if they all had I Pods.

Alanna:

  1. Selena Gomez- Naturally
  2. Raven Simone- Superstition
  3. Miley Cyrus- See You Again.
  4. The Jonas Brother- S.O.S
  5. Aly& A.J- Chemical Reaction
  6. 6. Mandy Moore- Stupid Cupid
  7. 7. The Cheetah Girls- A La Nanita Nana
  8. 8. Paramore- Crushcrushcrush
  9. 9. Frankie J.- Daddy’s Little Girl
  10. 10. Amos Lee- Sweet Pea

 

Ashton

  1.  Evanescence- Call Me When Your Sober
  2.  Coldplay- viva la vida
  3.  Daughtry- Life After You
  4.  The Fray- How to Save a Life.
  5.  Flowboat- No Handle Bars
  6.  Atreyu – Her Portrait In Black
  7.  Honor Society- Where Are they Now.
  8.  My Chemical Romance- To The End
  9. Cinderella- Nobody’s Fool
  10. Rhianna- Te Amo

 Autumn

  1. Edwina Hayes- Feels Like Home
  2. Marina Mena- Sorry
  3. Snow Patrol- Set Fire to the Third Bar.
  4. Amanda Perez- I Pray (Never Forget)
  5. Evanescence- Haunted
  6. Ingrid Michealson- Be Ok
  7. Cyndi Thomson- I always liked that best.
  8. Justin Nozuka- After Tonight
  9. Utada Hikaru- Hear Me Cry
  10. Maria Mena- You’re the Only One.

 

Ciaran

  1. Green Day- Time of Your Life
  2. Jason Mraz-I’m Yours
  3. Rihanna- Russian Roulette
  4. Mario- Let me Love You
  5. Nickleback- Savin Me
  6. Seether- I’m Broken
  7. James Blunt- Carry You Home
  8. Edwina Hayes- Feel Like Home
  9. Green Day- Time of your Life
  10. Rufus Wright- Halleluiah

 

Danny

  1. Gavin DeGraw- I’m in love with a girl
  2. Bobby Valentino- Anonymous
  3. Eliot Yamin- Wait For You
  4. Katy Perry- Thinking of You
  5. Lovegame- Lady Gaga
  6. Plain White T’s- Hey there Delilah
  7. Buckcherry- Sorry
  8. Chris Brown- Forever
  9. Joe Purdy- Wash Away
  10.  Pink- Who Knew

 

 

Maeve

  1. Amanda Blank- Make it Take It
  2. Blaque- As If
  3. Kesha- Tik Tok
  4. Nickleback- Rockstar
  5. Sleepy Rebels- Unbelievable
  6. Kelly Clarkson-Miss Independent
  7. Will I Am- I Got it from my Mama
  8.  Duffy- Rain on Your Parade
  9. Jessie James- Blue Jeans
  10. JoJo- Beautiful Girls Reply

 

Nicius

  1. Brad Praisly- Don’t Laugh at Me
  2. Bon Jovi- We Weren’t Born to Follow
  3. Owl City- Fireflies
  4.  Nickleback- If Everyone Cared
  5. Regina Specktor- Laughing with
  6. Paramore- Misery’s Business
  7. OneRepublic- Stop
  8. James Blunt- Your Beautiful
  9. Gary Go- Wonderful
  10. Shinedown- All I Ever Wanted

 

Sage

  1. Miley Cyrus- The Climb
  2. Aly& Aj- Sticks and Stones
  3. Hilary Duff- Come Clean
  4. The Cheetah Girls- Cinderella
  5. Gary Go- Wonderful
  6. Justin Beiber- One Time
  7. Mandy Moore- I can break your heart any day of the week .
  8. Yael Naim- New Soul
  9. Vanessa Carlton- A Thousand Miles
  10. Paramore- Brick by Boring Brick
 

Uneventful. May 5, 2010

Filed under: books,life,Random Box,Uncategorized,writing — christaholley @ 1:08 am
Tags: , , ,

Lately my life has been wake up, go to class then head to another class, go home and study. I’m so sick of studying for finals I could throw all of my books out the window light them up and dance around the fire I made from them.

I can dream.

Whenever I can I try to do some editing on my novel, Autumn’s Beginning. It’s the first on I’ve completely finished and I’m just praying it isn’t to long or if it is that it is good enough to be that long. I’m nervous but I have made up my mind to send it in once I finish it. =) It would be the coolest thing if I actually got published and someone read my stories. We shall see.

I also started on the sequel to it, and the title is still in the works like the story. I love my characters and the plot that is beginning to take shape now I all I have to do is weave and bind it all together. Lucky me.

My family thinks I’ve gone completely insane because if I’m not studying I’m bent over my computer typing away and editing, I haven’t picked up a book for entertainment in. . . I don’t know how long. I don’t like reading and writing at the same time, it kind of throws me off and I don’t know why.

 

I’m Back April 5, 2010

Filed under: life,things that stress,writing — christaholley @ 9:06 pm
Tags: , ,

I’m sorry and twice sorry. Even if no one reads this blog I feel bad for not writing in so long. I haven’t had the time or the computer to do it on. My computer is in the shop and I’m working with a loaner and as for my time. . . it’s been wrapped up in so many things it is insane.

I was accepted into clinical nursing school a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been running and scampering around to meet my deadline to get things mailed in and stuff. There was so much I needed to do. I had to get a background check, I was clear and clean. Then I had to go to the doctor and get all these shots. I swear the stuck me eight time! I hate shots. Then there was the drug screening, I was cleared for that too. Ain’t no drugs in me! LOL. There were other things that I need to do but nothing major that I can’t do later. Running around like I was with my little two week dead line made me fall behind on my school work. Now I’m scampering to read up on what I missed in class. I’m tired and exhausted and my face is trying to break out in pimples as it normally does when I’m under a lot of stress.  But it’s all going to be worth it, summer isn’t that far away if I can just keep going and keep my grades right then I’ll be set.

I’m going to try and do better about my blogging too, I’m not doing a good job on writing everyday but I promise I ‘ll get better

 

“Black” March 11, 2010

Filed under: life,Random Box,things that stress,writing — christaholley @ 8:50 am
Tags: , ,

Yes there is a difference in the way different ethnicities interrupt Standard English, we have our little add ons and additions that come from a cultural background and upbringing. But there is something I don’t understand. “what is talking black?” and what is “talking white?” can someone explain this to me. I’ve heard it for as long as I can remember but when I ask, no one knows how to explain it. Very annoying.

It’s in the middle of midterm season for me so I haven’t been writing everyday like I said I would but, if I don’t make the grade then I’ll be in a deep hole with dirt over my head. I sent in my application for nursing school so I can’t afford to grade drop now. But this one little thing happen in my English class that I felt the need to document. As our Midterm exam we had to write a single space, four page paper in class on the differences of “black english” from “white” This covered from writing styles to Ebonics to the history of why black people write the way they do. By the time I was finished writing this paper and listening to my teacher trying to help us write our paper I really wanted to curse at them. But that wouldn’t have been polite and he does hold my grade in his hand. But now I kind of feel guilty maybe I should have gone to the dean. He didn’t have a right, or I feel he didn’t have a right to speak like that or ask those questions. Yes black people have a certain way of talking but so do other cultures, what sets “Black English” away from everything else that there is a need to single it out. What made my professor think he could ask us, us as a group, as African-Americans minus two, including my professor, why we talk the way we do. . .it was very uncalled for. We could ask him why he wears the same clothes every day or every other day, we could ask him if his wife lets him walk out the house like that. But we don’t because that would be rude and disrespectful, the same can be said for what he just ask us. Some questions shouldn’t be ask aloud they should be pondered upon and ask to a really go friend, not your students.

Maybe I overreacted, maybe I didn’t but he did push a button with me. If he keeps pushing it he might not like the reaction he might get one day.

 

Following my heart. March 7, 2010

Filed under: family,life,writing — christaholley @ 1:21 am
Tags: ,

I got a piece of advice that I’m not sure I’m bold enough to follow. Someone today told me to follow my heart. I don’t know what that means anymore. I just don’t, in so many direction am I pulled. To follow my heart would mean giving up on so many things, to take a chance on to many things, I always thought I was brave but am I brave enough to take a leap of faith.

Years have been pulled here and told to sit down there. I rarely oppose anything my family wants me to do unless it’s just too much. I’ve known my path since I was four years old. I was told the university I would attend, I was allowed to pick my major until I actually got my let of acceptance. Everything changed after that, I love the field and I’m sure I’ll do well but I just wish I had a choice. People say that they choices, I use to think I did but after my Dad passed away I think all those options flew out the window. My mom is a wonderful woman strict but I couldn’t speak a bad word toward her, ever. She never complains and does what she has to with her head held high and I know that is the kind of person I want to be. She didn’t fall to pieces when the love, her only love died, she carried on even though she looked so fragile while she did it. She never cracked or broke, she was strong, I know there will be a time when I have to be strong for her. I know that one day I will be her caregiver and not the other way around. How can I give my mother, my sister what they deserve when I don’t know where I’m going. I know what I want but who knows how long it will take till I get there. That’s scary part of the adventure I guess.

I will follow my heart, but I have to think it through first. I will be smart about this. I will think things through and not jump head first into what I want. I can do both, I can make my family happy and follow my heart. I can please them and myself, I can do all things through Christ.

I will do both, I will become a woman who can take care of her family and one who can please herself. I don’t think that’s greedy to want both, I just hope I can have them both. I want them both but I also don’t want to end up with a bleeding heart.