Christaholley's Blog

If You Only Knew

Uneventful. May 5, 2010

Filed under: books,life,Random Box,Uncategorized,writing — christaholley @ 1:08 am
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Lately my life has been wake up, go to class then head to another class, go home and study. I’m so sick of studying for finals I could throw all of my books out the window light them up and dance around the fire I made from them.

I can dream.

Whenever I can I try to do some editing on my novel, Autumn’s Beginning. It’s the first on I’ve completely finished and I’m just praying it isn’t to long or if it is that it is good enough to be that long. I’m nervous but I have made up my mind to send it in once I finish it. =) It would be the coolest thing if I actually got published and someone read my stories. We shall see.

I also started on the sequel to it, and the title is still in the works like the story. I love my characters and the plot that is beginning to take shape now I all I have to do is weave and bind it all together. Lucky me.

My family thinks I’ve gone completely insane because if I’m not studying I’m bent over my computer typing away and editing, I haven’t picked up a book for entertainment in. . . I don’t know how long. I don’t like reading and writing at the same time, it kind of throws me off and I don’t know why.


Art? April 5, 2010

Filed under: life,Random Box,Uncategorized — christaholley @ 10:09 am
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Yesterday which means Saturday,  my best friend Camille and I went to a book festival. It wasn’t what I expected but that didn’t mean I didn’t’ have a great time. It was at a park downtown and had different vendors selling an array of books some local bookshops and some from self published authors. Others were just trying to get rid of things they had. Ever so often a local author would come up and read thrity minutes from their book. There was also singing and food and an art gallery. 

I bought two books, signed up to volunteer for a few organization. I became a member of a few clubs and found others things I liked but knew I would never have time to get into. The art gallery was cool and weird. I like art because doesn’t have to make sense. But it’s weird because then anything can be art, my bed could be a piece of art. My shoes could too. It’s weird, who sets the standard of what art is. There is a artist, I forgot his name but most of his paintings weren’t even paintings or statues they were book covers. How is that considered art? He didn’t do it did he? I don’t know but I just thought it was crazy that someone would pay thousands of dollars for something they could go to the bookstore, pay three dollars for and frame it themselves.  But that wasn’t even the weirdest thing, what got me was in one of the rooms there was a dead and stuffed horse. He lay on his side, legs sprailed out and mouth open with a bloated stomach. Inside the stomach there was a sign that about Jesus our King.  This shocked me, it confused me too. This was art? This had meaning? What in the world I wondered did a dead and stuffed horse have to do with Jesus?

But that wasn’t his only piece, in another room there were stuffed dogs, they looked so live and friendly and between the two labs was a chicken. . . anyway one of the dogs is looking at you as you round the corner but quickly you learn that he isn’t looking at you he is staring at what is behind you. A woman is nailed to bed inside a crate, her face is hidden in her arm in shame. I think it was shame.

There was another work of his; two men lay side by side in a twin bed together staring up into the ceiling at nothing. I didn’t understand. I mean no they didn’t have to be staring at anything but they had to be looking at something, thinking about  something. There had to be a mood there that made the artist put them in that pose but I couldn’t catch it. I didn’t understand and that was so frustrating to me. I stared at that thing for a long while before moving on  just as clueless as I had been in the beginning.

The last piece I saw was just as disturbing as the first. Walking outside the building I saw a couple looking up at the roof. Naturally you wonder what are they staring at or at least I did. Up on the roof in the hot sun sat a little drummer boy staring down at us. His sleeves and pants were long his hair was brown and his skin white though it should have been red from the heat. His hands posed over his drum thought his eyes were looking down at it, they stare straight ahead over us and out into the city. It took me a second to realize this wasn’t a child but another twisted piece of art meant to startle the viewer.  Disgusted with myself for getting worked up I had to walk away and think about the drummer boy later.  I would love to meet the man who designed that piece one day but sadly I don’t think I ever will, he lives in Milan, Italy and his paintings sell for millions of dollars. I doubt he would really care what I think of his work, why should he?


P.O. March 4, 2010

Filed under: friends,life,Random Box — christaholley @ 6:49 am
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It’s been a while and I guess the only reason I started back writing is because I’m upset- no, I’m not upset I’m pissed. I’m so frustrated and pissed off and have no where to go except to the police and I don’t want to do that. I just didn’t think every thing would turn out this bad. I didn’t think he would be this horrible. I mean he broke up with me after all, he has a girl friend. I meant next to nothing to him, he told me so himself. So. . . why wouldn’t he leave me alone? Why me?

Is it because I said okay a tried to pick up the pieces and was actually there? what is it about me being happy that he can’t stand? I think I’ll write a story about it one day.


It went something like this. Me and Jason (my best friend) decided to go to the mall, this is a big thing for me, I hate shopping but he loves it. Plus he promise to buy me the book I’ve been lusting after for months. It was a win win situation. Or so I thought until I saw him, or he saw me I’m not sure who saw who first.

Jason was handing me my book after just paying for it and my ex walks in. My stomach I swear drops.

He has his girlfriend and everything, when he saw me I don’t know what happen. I didn’t even have time to run and drag Jason with me before he pounced asking twenty one plus a million questions. they started off nice, what am I doing with my life. Innocent things, then they got more intursive, do I have a boyfriend stuff like that.  Then Jason did the worst thing, he put his hand on my arm trying to drag me away and I’m walking awaywith him, trying not to run. My ex has no idea that Jason is my best friend and not more. . .

Any way, he says the one thing that started it all. We were walking away toward the exit as fast as we could when he said. “have you f***ed her yet?!” I swear in front of the people in Borders Books, yelling for everyone to hear he is yelling at the top of his lungs. “she wouldn’t let me, what the f*** are you doing different. It‘s because I‘m white isn‘t it ?!?”

Now I’m dragging Jason out the store and my ex is running to greet us and his girlfriend is just standing there with a blank look on her face like everyone else in the store. When I finally get Jason to run instead of going and trying to throw punches he is walking after us yelling at us about me! WTF!?!?

I’m nothing special, not to him anyway. I’m trying to move on with my life but he won’t let me. I’m tired and frustrated and a little scared, he was the biggest mistake of my life. One that I will never make again.

I swear I broke down two times before we made it back to school. I don’t cry, not over things like this but. . . I didn’t know what else I could do.


Part One: the book list February 23, 2010

Filed under: books — christaholley @ 3:49 am
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I have nothing to write about except that it was suppose to snow today and I haven’t seen a flake of anything so far. I decided to start posting list of my to read books. Some are out some are coming soon. Some are young adult others are urban and some are fantasy all seem interesting in summary. I have some historical fiction and just plain fiction. This is part one. I’ll leave it to you to pick out a book you like.

Queene of Light (Lightworld/Darkworld, #1) Armintrout, Jennifer 0778326624

Fairy Tale (Hardcover) Balog, Cyn 0385737068

Raised by Wolves (Hardcover) Barnes, Jennifer Lynn 1606840592

Rocky Mountain Oasis (Paperback) Bonner, Lynnette 1602902143 

The Karma Club (Hardcover) Brody, Jessica 0374339791

Hunted (Paperback) Browne, N.M. 1582349037

Naamah’s Curse (Hardcover) Carey, Jacqueline 0446198056

Magic Under Glass (Paperback) Dolamore, Jaclyn 1408802120

In a Heartbeat (Hardcover) Ellsworth, Loretta 0802720684

A Disobedient Girl: A Novel (Hardcover) Freeman, Ru 1439101957

His Invisible Wife (Urban Soul) Goss, Shelia M. 159983085X

Runemarks (Hardcover) Harris, Joanne 0375844449

The Star of Kazan (Paperback) Ibbotson, Eva 0142405825

Folly (Library Binding) Jocelyn, Marthe 0385907311

The Iron Queen (Iron Fey, #3) Kagawa, Julie

The Iron Daughter (Iron Fey, #2) Kagawa, Julie

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Millennium, #1) Larsson, Stieg 0307454541

Love, Lies and Texas Dips (The Debs, #2) McBride, Susan 0385735200

Dark Flame (The Immortals, #4) Noel, Alyson 0312590970

Radiance (The Immortals Spin-off #1) Noel, Alyson

Birthmarked (Hardcover) O’Brien, Caragh M. 1596435690

Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart (Paperback) Patillo, Beth 0824947932

Siren (Hardcover) Rayburn, Tricia 1606840746

The Lovely Bones. Movie Tie-In (Perfect Paperback) Sebold, Alice 0316189413

Dear John (Hardcover) Sparks, Nicholas 0446528056

Trick of the Light (Trickster, #1) Thurman, Rob 0451462882

My Soul to Lose (Soul Screamers, Prequel) Vincent, Rachel

She’s No Faerie Princess (The Others, Book 2) Warren, Christine 0312347766

Except the Queen (Hardcover) Yolen, Jane 0451462734